The Charlie Sheen we know today, half man, half warlock, who some say has lost it, while others say is his deep cunning, has had some of his life exposed in a journal that he wrote when he was a high school student at Santa Monica High School. The ramblings, all hand written in 35 pages, are a very poignant and sometimes disturbing look into his psyche even back then, especially in relation to how he is today. Although we are surprised after reading some of the passages set down to paper at age 14 that have been made available online, that he didn’t turn out to be a serial killer.

Of course, one of the big revelations of the journal is that he wondered even back then if he was going crazy, whether school and the world were pushing him over the edge. This is on page one. It then went on to speculate whether or not he would go whacko sometime later in life. Well, depending on how you look at it, that may have been a prophecy.

He wondered what death was like in other passages, but what was most scary about his writings, again in what was released, is his punishment for those he felt acted “hot”. We take it that was probably some of the more mean girls in his school that may not have given him the time of day. For them, their mothers, he says, should have been raped by 7 bikers in front of their kids, while the “hot” ones themselves should be cut in half at the speed of one inch per day, while also being tortured by fire for three days. Pretty gruesome stuff for someone his age.

Of course, there were more teenager type fantasies as well like being on a vacation with a harem of 40 beautiful girls, which he may have accomplished. He also rags on those that were mentally ill, saying that there is no such thing and that it’s all in their head, which apparently he has come to his senses with in his current life, raising money for organizations dealing with bipolar disorder, even though, he himself denies having it.

You can bid on the journal at Nate D. Sanders Auctions, which picked it up from a memorabilia shop.