A couple of days ago, Rachel Oberlin (AKA porn star Bree Olson) had left the Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour because she wanted to return home to Illinois, claiming she was homesick. Rumors abounded to the reason, but most had settled on the fact that she still had court issues and would return to Charlie’s life as soon as those were resolved. She even denied rumors that she was breaking up with him, only that she wanted a leave of absence. Charlie hinted that she may have wanted to see other people.

According to the 45 year old actor turned warlock, speaking during a Q&A in Fort Lauderdale, FL as part of his show, revealed that Oberlin, 24, did in fact dump him, and she did it by text message, which is the coldest kind of dump. When asked how he could be dating two women at the same time, both within his own house, he replied that apparently he wasn’t very good at it if he lost one. She probably got tired of sharing. The good news is at least he won’t have a messy divorce with her like the wives he’s had. Then again, they’ve done this before when Oberlin left him for a bit and he took her back, though since she is the one that instigated the breakup, it might not be as easy this time.

Charlie, though, still has Natalie Kenly, also 24, to keep him company on tour and at home and is looking for a new goddess. He tried to put out a request for Mila Kunis to join him, but she was grossed out by the idea of being his arm candy, which doesn’t surprise anyone. Not all find warlocks with tiger blood and Adonis DNA appealing.