The actor, currently on tour across the country in a show that has made critics and audiences either wince or cheer, flew back to Los Angeles on Tuesday to try and get custody of his kids, twins Max and Bob. In a hearing set up by his lawyers after ex-wife Brooke Mueller was back in rehab, he hoped to get full custody in a win or lose proposition. But the judge would not hear of it and left their agreed upon custody arrangement as it was, despite the setback. In a case of getting yourself in trouble for speaking out, his talk of drug use concerned the court, even though he says it’s in the past, and his wife is currently recovering from cocaine addiction at the center. It’s just a guess, but telling people you are a warlock, spouting off about tiger blood and Adonis DNA doesn’t exactly make you look like the sane choice Charlie.

In an ironic twist to this odd tale, Denise Richards, another ex-wife and actress, who accused Sheen of not taking care of his dogs, offered to take temporary custody of the children. She is the mother of Sam and Lola, two girls that she had while with Sheen. Instead of telling her to mind her own business though, Sheen reportedly told her that he’d keep her posted, which means he would at least consider the offer.

Also on Tuesday, the case of whether the $100 million lawsuit he has against Chuck Lorre and Warner Brothers for his firing off Two and Half Men should be public or not was also heard. Since it was much later than the custody one, he was unable to attend, having to fly to Washington DC for his latest tour date. Lorre also did not show up either, leaving it to their lawyers. Sheen’s lawyer argued that having arbitration in his client’s case is wrong because he makes $2 million an episode and they knew what they were getting into by keeping him on. The judge in the case adjourned without ruling.

Even with his early departure after his custody hearing, Sheen wound up being 45 minutes late for the 8pm show, which got officially moved back to 9pm to accommodate the tight schedule. Like most of his shows, he is said to have bombed, playing to another hostile audience in DC. At least he showed up.